On Disappearing Acts

On Disappearing Acts

I know. I've been radio silent. There are numerous reasons, many of which I will not enumerate at risk of being excessive. The main reason is that I've been at a loss for words, in a good way. In a God way, I think.

I shouldn't need to point out that the internet is drowning in words, in blogs. While I wholeheartedly believe words and blogs can be used for good, sometimes the internet can make you feel downright funky. I have no desire to add to those things if I can help it. 

It seemed like the change that occurred in me happened in an instant. I lost the desire to expose some parts of my life that can come with blogging. Simultaneously, I gained this deep longing to engage in the tangible, non-internet part of my life. I've been doing just that - and it's been amazing. Not that each day is amazing, but the commitment to prioritize being present for my life, the peaks and the valleys, has been transformative. 

My family has experienced a lot of changes recently. We moved neighborhoods and into our first home. I picked up an exciting, yet intimidating, volunteer gig that has yet to begin. We started attending a new church. I've passed up on a couple of opportunities and recommitted to some long-term plans. I'm reaching for this little slice of peace amidst a flurry of transition. 

I heard many things about what I should do when I set out to start this blog. But I don't want to do what I am supposed to do anymore. I don't want to promote myself using personal accounts. I don't want to endlessly edit my posts for mistakes. (In fact, I make lots of mistakes. And definitely not just typos and clumsy wording.) I don't want to write to gain more responses and blog traffic.

I'd rather say less. I'd rather find my voice and write to write. I'd like to keep blogging, I think. About things that real and stirring in my heart. I guess that's what I set out to do in the first place, but I lost my way. And that's okay. Something about "it's a journey," right?