Restless

For those of you who know me personally, you know I always have my face in a book... or six. I'm currently reading Restless by Jennie Allen and GOODNESS gracious. Am I the definition of restless or what?

I have always been restless. Exploding with ideas but moving on quickly. Pursuing romance with fervor until I decide to back out. Switching my studies and career path repeatedly. It seems I have this yearning for fulfillment that is never fully realized.  

As a part of the book, Allen has you map out your story. You mark the parts of your life where you have experienced fulfillment as well as the parts of your life where you have experienced suffering. It was rough, man. I'm realizing I've experienced a great amount of pain in my life, and I've let that pain shape me in not-so-good ways. Looking back at my life, it is easier to see how it has been marked by loss. I was saddened to see that the painful parts were so impactful that I couldn't remember the things that were beautiful and fulfilling in the same time frame. 

As painful as it is to see, I'm also seeing how my struggles with relationships and insecurity run alongside my desires to create and encourage. Destruction and creation. Encouragement and discouragement. Freedom and bondage. It's quite a story. Instead of continuing to see myself as a victim, I am pondering how to give God the glory with my story. How can I accept my own story, and allow God to have the glory with the pain and the beauty I've experienced?

I know He is making something from my life. There is a good chance I will never see the full picture of what He is doing, but it's up to me now to live my life to glorify Him... to use what He has given me. It's never too late to refashion your story. Will you join me, as I learn to refashion mine?

I bet you have quite a story too. Have read Jennie Allen's book Restless? What are the triumphs and valleys that mark your story? When you look back at your life, do you see how God wants to use your pain? Do you see how He's pulled your gifts from your trials and weaknesses? I'd love to hear and encourage you today.