"To be fearless isn't really to overcome fear, it's to come to to know its nature." - Pema Chodron
I had been feeling a lot of feelings. As my yoga teacher training approached, it seemed like circumstances began to touch on the most tender parts of my being: my child's struggles with separation, my historic fear of public speaking, and my general fear of failure.
When I feel fear, my impulse is to run away. Hide. Avoid whatever evoked this primal sense of danger. I used to bail at the first sign of threat. Now I realize if I never work through it, I'll never grow or do anything that is important to me.
At first, feeling my feelings was uncharted territory. My history is littered with the evidence. Markings of avoidance, distracting, numbing. Anything but staying in it. To feel the fear means that I am not numb and not distracted, but alive. Finding a way through it offers the wisdom that comes with experience. Once feelings were allowed and explored, they no longer maintained the grip they once had.
I used to think my fear was an indication of something amiss; now I just recognize its presence as evidence of humanity.
It can feel scary to grow, to try something new. But as I move through fear, I realize I am not my feelings. We are not our feelings, and our fears no longer have to dictate our outcomes. Fear, I'm not without you. I'm in you. I'm moving through you. I believe this is just a part of reality - and now I'm really living.