Recovery is...

Recovery is...

sharing with multiple people in hopes that you will stick with it this time. 
feeling unbearably exposed and unmeasurably liberated at the same time.
sometimes feeling healed and other times wondering if healing will ever happen.
accessing parts of your brain that used to be crowded by your eating disorder.
at times not thinking about your body and other times seeing it in a funhouse mirror.
learning what it is like to not be obsessed with food and your body. 
relapsing and wondering if one day you won't. 
discovering immense empathy with others who suffer in this way.
finding incredible room in your heart to care about things other than yourself.
showing you that food is not your problem, but your life source.
learning that food is a way to cope, but not the only way to cope. 
feeling the feelings you used to manage with restriction and deprivation.
forgetting what it feels like to binge after you normalize food.
recognizing the toxicity of the culture we live in - that tells us to be less in every way.
discovering a life that is not defined by appearances.
having more room for experiencing life's ups and downs.
being able to focus more on others than myself. 
recognizing when my needs are neglected and actually tending to them. 
becoming a more mentally healthy, whole person.
starting to live a life I would wish for my daughter.
learning the joy that comes with being gentle with myself. 
being able to think more clearly and have more energy.
recognizing our tremendous capacity for developing resilience.